Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
