You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
