your thong is hanging out like whoa
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
