ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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