You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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