Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
