i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Terrible idea I love it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
