break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
