Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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