I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
