That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
