so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize