I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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