if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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