I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
