Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.