I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot