I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You can't just leave with hair like that
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!