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I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Randomize
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