He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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