Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
