It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
