Christians are straight up FREAKS
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
