just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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