no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
