Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
