you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
