You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
