on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
