if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
