Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
