i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
