Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
im holly from the hills drunk
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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