I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
