Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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