were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
OPIZZABONMYDICK
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
