just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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