The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
sarcasm needs its own font
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
