my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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