I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
