i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
