I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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