did you get engaged???
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
