I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
