Where did you get a picture of my penis
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis