i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.