Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates. http://tfl.nu/it76
  Replies (7) Good night (498) Bad night (2246)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/5s3p
  Replies (19) Good night (893) Bad night (3248)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head? http://tfl.nu/senf
  Replies (31) Good night (7544) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome http://tfl.nu/ktp3
  Replies (27) Good night (3482) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case http://tfl.nu/pt7p
  Replies (20) Good night (2947) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems http://tfl.nu/8tgm
  Replies (31) Good night (1551) Bad night (4851)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night. http://tfl.nu/zl6t
  Replies (7) Good night (4553) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside. http://tfl.nu/o1u3
  Replies (9) Good night (5416) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wonder if you can snort coke upside down

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I wonder if you can snort coke upside down http://tfl.nu/eyfv
  Replies (20) Good night (1374) Bad night (2955)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can http://tfl.nu/4n6x
  Replies (11) Good night (787) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours http://tfl.nu/g0b7
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future http://tfl.nu/c1z9
  Replies (1) Good night (973) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this. http://tfl.nu/vp0n
  Replies (10) Good night (2830) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart. http://tfl.nu/7jwu
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me? http://tfl.nu/bnes
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (275)

Randomize