Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.

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  (802): PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know. http://tfl.nu/g6tj
  Replies (13) Good night (4042) Bad night (844)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive

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  (609): imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive http://tfl.nu/r061
  Replies (50) Good night (4226) Bad night (1128)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.

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  (+27): My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos. http://tfl.nu/d1hj
  Replies (17) Good night (2522) Bad night (4903)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.

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  (571): she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant. http://tfl.nu/awg1
  Replies (8) Good night (4268) Bad night (1030)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.

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  (505): Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car. http://tfl.nu/bc5h
  Replies (1) Good night (1813) Bad night (861)
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  (315): View more from New York

  mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.

  (315): View more from New York

  hahahaha slap the bag.

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  (315): mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table. (315): hahahaha slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/tktw
  Replies (2) Good night (1566) Bad night (789)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.

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  (978): I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed. http://tfl.nu/ypwz
  Replies (6) Good night (1035) Bad night (2300)
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  (626): View more from California

  I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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  (626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (614)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.

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  (605): Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised. http://tfl.nu/r6ni
  Replies (12) Good night (675) Bad night (1072)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.

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  (708): I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on. http://tfl.nu/l3j9
  Replies (5) Good night (1050) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  I feel so bad for your roommate

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  (206): Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame" (1-206): I feel so bad for your roommate http://tfl.nu/tybq
  Replies (3) Good night (964) Bad night (345)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.

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  (306): my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets. http://tfl.nu/lsez
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (342)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.

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  (407): This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve. http://tfl.nu/1f06
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (305)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?

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  (847): sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you? http://tfl.nu/2uuz
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.

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  (248): Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine. http://tfl.nu/nppn
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (227)

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