Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
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Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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