Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
barbara walters just said penis...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here