***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
