Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  You're going home with him aren't you?

  (386): View more from Florida

  I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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  (386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az
  Replies (12) Good night (1319) Bad night (2917)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?

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  (702): we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast. (1-702): do you want me to pick up budweiser instead? http://tfl.nu/46t6
  Replies (24) Good night (5410) Bad night (695)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.

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  (309): I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket. http://tfl.nu/mff0
  Replies (11) Good night (4058) Bad night (543)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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  (901): Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore. http://tfl.nu/ntw9
  Replies (55) Good night (5569) Bad night (1412)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."

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  (318): He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later." http://tfl.nu/4lz3
  Replies (14) Good night (2486) Bad night (3830)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car

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  (713): Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car http://tfl.nu/eifp
  Replies (11) Good night (3594) Bad night (1190)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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  (207): He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ. http://tfl.nu/rtl1
  Replies (25) Good night (9552) Bad night (1030)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.

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  (250): well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves. http://tfl.nu/btjv
  Replies (14) Good night (1413) Bad night (2096)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..

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  (305): What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on.. http://tfl.nu/a0r6
  Replies (6) Good night (1509) Bad night (775)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  they paper machayed me.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.

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  (484): they paper machayed me. (215): i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers. http://tfl.nu/kseh
  Replies (5) Good night (3373) Bad night (607)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.

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  (501): I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk. http://tfl.nu/v5sh
  Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (461)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.

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  (410): after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy. http://tfl.nu/riha
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.

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  (641): Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever. http://tfl.nu/1kf9
  Replies (12) Good night (1430) Bad night (413)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants

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  (816): I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants http://tfl.nu/igf3
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (292)
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  (347): View more from New York

  my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs

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  (347): my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs http://tfl.nu/7wjm
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (259)

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