I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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