Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
