So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My penis needs a shock collar
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
