just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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