Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize