about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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