are you so shy because you have an std?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize