Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
