I smell stomach acid.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
