Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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