We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize