His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
