we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
