Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize