dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
