I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
