party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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