Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
