a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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