I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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