I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
